Friday, December 30, 2016

Standing With Standing Rock

I cannot deny it when my heart calls me to do something. And the call to go to Standing Rock was stronger than most intuition I have felt before. I heard it from the moment I first knew of the work being done there before they were even calling themselves Water Protectors.
Clean water is one of my greatest passions, I felt it was important to be there as well as to support Native Americans whose land was being forsaken in the effort to build the pipeline.
But I had to wait to know it for sure and that came in the form of my partner telling me outright, "I think you should go to Standing Rock". Unlike my usual way, I didn't feel it would be respectful for me to just go. I knew it could be dangerous and I had no real connections out there. So I wanted to be sure I was supported in the decision.
Amazingly but not unbelievably, everyone supported me. My spiritual family, my blood family, my friends. They all prayed for me and sent supplies to donate to the Water Protectors. I knew I was going representing all of them, who wanted to be there but for some reason or another could not.
It was an honor and I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve on their behalf.
A ceremony was done for me to give me more protection, like a warrior, would need, as it felt like I was going into battle. It was right after the first major attack on the water protectors last summer and so everyone knew the situation was intense and getting more dangerous. I was told I may even have to crawl into camp to avoid authorities. And that I would be put on the eco-terrorist watch list and perhaps locked up and put in a dog kennel. Needless to say, it was very scary to consider going into this situation. But I could not deny what my guides were telling me so clearly to do.
So once I'd gathered a van load of supplies I set out on an epic journey. I planned to stay a few weeks so I had everything I would need to survive on my own and not expect to be taken care of.
I drove 3 days to North Dakota alone and on the last day met up with friends of friends so I could caravan in with them, which we assumed would be the hardest most dangerous part.
Right before we got there my fear started to peak and I began to sing a ceremony song as loud as I could. A huge buck ran right in front of my car then, I narrowly missed it! A sign from spirit to stay strong and not let fear take me.
Getting in was a lot easier than expected though. We were told at the gate, "No drugs, No Alcohol, and No Weapons". It made me know that this was a very conscientious responsible protest. Once inside I felt like I was in another country. A helicopter circled continuously, and floodlights from DAPL shined on us all night long, making it feel like a war zone.

We were told a storm was coming and it could snow, so my caravan friends left the next morning not wanting to get caught in it. But I thought I could handle the snow.....until I heard it was a blizzard heading our way. I never considered a blizzard. I guess if I had I might not have gone because I do not do well with cold weather and did not feel my car with over 330,000 miles could handle sub-zero temperatures. I could not get stranded there and from the sound of it, that was entirely possible.
I spent the next two days dropping off supplies and exploring the camp. Medical supplies, fire cider, adult coloring books and space blankets to the medic yurt. Winter coats, down blankets, boots and sleeping bags to the clothing donation tent. And educational materials and art supplies to the kids' school yurt.
I had only met two people, a sister of a friend and her friend who happened to be from Athens, Georgia. He was the person I saw the morning I awoke with the strong feeling that I must go. It was really windy all night and all I could think about was how I would not survive in my car with all those windows in below-freezing temperatures. And even though my friend assured me that they would make sure I was safe and warm in a medical teepee or yurt, I did not feel I could ask them to take that responsibility when there would be others more in need than me. It was heartbreaking to know I would be leaving much sooner than planned but the voices were clear that I had to leave that day, as soon as possible.
So in parting, I gave him the rest of the supplies to get out to the camp, my personal food and water stock and a very nice knife that was donated. When i asked him if he needed it, he got tears in his eyes and said that that was the amazing thing about Standing Rock, that prayers get answered and you are given just what you need- he had left his knife at home which he normally always had with him and was asking spirit to send one. He later told me it was the most useful thing he had received there.

As I began to drive out of camp I realized I had one more special gift to leave- a bundle of the longest macaw feathers I'd been collecting for years. As I was driving by the main sacred fire I saw a native woman with long braids ending a ceremony in the traditional way, shaking the hands of all in the circle who had been a part of it. I waited for her to be done and then went and stood by her, holding the feathers and I said, "I would like to offer you these". She turned to look at me, and her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "Thank you so much, I will put them on my sundance altar." I presented them to her in the traditional way and then she hugged me for a long time and cried. I knew if I'd done anything to really touch someone by coming there, that this was it. And I thanked Great Spirit for the opportunity to serve.
Two nights after I left the worst incident yet occurred- water cannons were aimed at the water protectors in freezing temperatures, inflicting hypothermia on hundreds. A woman had her arm blown apart and another lost an eye from the human rights abuses by police and hired security of Energy Partners- the Dakota Access Pipeline company.
I understand now that Spirit knew what was coming and didn't want me there for that, no matter how much of a warrior I'd intended to be.
But my adventure was not over. While it did not snow in Standing Rock for another week, it did hit the southern part of the state, right where I was driving, starting just a couple hours after I left. After many hours of driving, I had to stop to sleep but when I woke up at 7 am there was already 4 inches of snow on my car. I almost panicked thinking I was about to be stranded. So I packed up quick and headed out, I knew I only had to drive an hour or so to get past the snow. But that turned out to be an almost fatal decision.
I'd never driven in snow or ice like that but once on the highway, I felt safer than getting off again since the road was being mostly cleared by the semi-truck in front of me and I already knew that the side streets were frozen.
But after about a half an hour the semi was gone and I was left trying to navigate through a blizzard that only seemed to be getting worse. I was more afraid then than I had been entering Standing Rock! I felt it took all my energy to stay focused and I was not even in my body as I floated along trying to hear Spirit's guidance and do what was safest. But then... I hit a patch of black ice and my minivan did one or two complete 360s into the median and shut down. As it was happening I thought the car was going to flip and that I was going to die! Miraculously I survived... and my car even started again. I got off the highway and to a truck stop where I sat crying so hard I almost hyperventilated. I was alive but scared to death!
After a few hours the sun finally came out and I saw snow plows go past down the highway, so I carefully crept back on the interstate and traveled at a snail's pace to get the 30 miles down the road where the snow was not so severe. I was home free after a couple of hours and singing and crying so loud- grateful to be alive!
I had thought Standing Rock would be the most harrowing part, but as usual, Spirit had the unexpected in-store and lessons I did not expect was given to me. I am still learning from the entire experience even today.
I had left Standing Rock but it stayed with me. I would continue to think about it and the Water Protectors every hour of the day and night for weeks and would post on Facebook 10-15 times a day about what was happening there.
I had done what I could there and continued to pray daily for the Water Protectors. From and activism standpoint, Standing Rock has been the most amazing sight I've ever experienced. Where thousands of people sacrificed greatly to be there, to stand up for all of humanity and protect the water for generations to come, despite what harm or tragedies might become of them.

And like all of them, a piece of my heart was left in Standing Rock and still remains there today.