A Trip To the Amazon for the Macaws

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A couple of years ago someone shared with me about a volunteer project with wild macaws in the Amazon. I was immediately intrigued.

The Tambopata Research Center website said we would be counting exotic birds, monitoring macaw nests and perhaps even tree climbing.  It sounded great but to imagine being in the jungle, so close to wild birds was the most exciting part to me.

I applied to the project and got in. The first document they sent for me to read was called Health and Safety in the Jungle -What to Be Concerned With. The insects, spiders, and snakes mentioned did not scare me. It said we might encounter a jaguar – but I wanted to see that! It detailed tropical diseases such as malaria or yellow fever and this concerned me some but leishmaniasis really scared me! It was an illness contracted from a type of sand flea that created open sores on the body that would be hard to cure. I definitely did not want to get that!

But I had to decide if I would go or not.

Finally, I agreed. I would be sorry if I missed the opportunity I had always been asking for- to live in the jungle among the animals. Besides, it was cheaper than paying rent anywhere in the US and I was already nomadic and without a home. So I made plans to go to the Peruvian Amazon for two months.

From the moment I arrived, I was in awe. Every plant and creature fascinated me. I could not stop asking questions. I wanted to absorb everything, to not miss a thing. Brilliantly colored scarlet macaws, green and red macaws and blue and yellow macaws were everywhere. They were magnificent.  Macaws were always flying overhead, calling to each other in ultra-loud screeching sounds that could be almost deafening. At least ten different other parrot species also lived there on the Tambopata river, attracted to a clay lick that they got a lot of nutrients from. There were even birds I knew from Georgia and Florida- roseate spoonbills, snowy egrets, and hawks. The Oropendola of the Amazon was one of my favorite birds. It was colorful and made a beautiful song that I really believe inspired Jim Henson’s alien puppets, sounding a bit like it was underwater. There were jakimar, toucans, nun birds, and buzzards among many many others. 

 

 

 

 

I saw many large snakes (never knowing which were actually dangerous) and even a spectacular electric blue tarantula one early morning. And of course, I got to see many varieties of monkeys-spider monkeys, capuchin, titi monkeys, squirrel monkeys, and howlers. I saw a family of capybaras (worlds largest rodent) and even the rare blonde anteater (almost blind) and the large river otters (only 200 left in the wild, eight in this region) made an appearance for me. 

 

As soon as I arrived I was immediately taught to climb trees. It was baby macaw season and a lot of help was needed. I was so excited to learn tree climbing that I wore myself out. I was exhausted within my first two days and had to take a day of rest.

I continued to learn to climb and within a week I was climbing the one rope system, sixty to one hundred feet off of the ground, in ceiba trees four hundred years old or more. Though I really wanted to climb, I was also terrified, wondering what the hell had I gotten myself into. After about my fourth tree climb, I finally trusted my equipment and it began to feel natural.

But climbing was not the most challenging part of my duties.

Once I was up in the tree I had to take the macaw chicks out of the nest, put them in a bucket on a rope and lower them down to the veterinarians on the ground for monitoring. Sometimes one handheld me in place and one hand got the chick into the bucket. Sometimes I even had to use a hand to hold the mother macaw under a towel and try not to get a finger bitten off while I retrieved the chick. I was always concerned about dropping the chick from such a height. I had to be very focused to ensure the safety of us both.

 

 

While tree climbing I also remembered that I have exercise-induced asthma. I would get halfway up the rope and then have to stop to catch my breath and breathe, normally again. I was not afraid of an actual asthma attack because I knew when to stop and breathe but I did not tell anyone else for fear they would think I was incapable of climbing and might try to stop me.

I wanted to be in the trees as often as possible, in close contact with the macaws and other wildlife that lived there. I loved it when I was in a tree and a troupe of monkeys would cross right in front of me, jumping from tree to tree- some with babies clinging to their backs. I felt like I was one of them, sharing the forest canopy as natural as can be.

Sometimes I would be walking a trail and come across a group of peccaries (a type of wild boar). If they had babies they could be really fierce and their big sharp tusks made me know I did not want to have a run-in with one of them. I was always sure to find a fallen tree nearby that I could jump onto if they charged. They cannot get off of the ground more than a couple of feet thankfully. You always knew when a peccary herd was close because they smelled so much like a sewer that you could not escape it from even hundreds of yards away. If they passed my room in the night the smell would wake me from my sleep.

Our other volunteer duties included research such as counting and bird census, looking for nest fights and observing the birds foraging habits. It was all a ton of work and hours of hiking daily. My muscles were constantly aching. I had had no training to prepare before I got to the Amazon but my excitement always kept me going. We wore rubber boots everywhere because the trails were so muddy and we sometimes walked through water up to our waists, home to caiman (a type of alligator) and anacondas.  I got blisters on my feet and they hurt all of the time.

The bugs were horrific, constantly biting us. There were at least three different kinds of mosquitos and six different biting flies (one which carried the leishmaniasis, but you never knew which one it was if you got bitten).

But just knowing that every day I might see something spectacular made it all worth it.

I pushed myself harder physically than I ever had. But even with all of the health concerns and all of the hard work on the body, it was better than any adventure I had imagined. And even after hundreds of bug bites, I never got a tropical disease. I was forty-four years old and I climbed forty-four trees in sixty days.

I was living my dream to be close to animals and experience the Amazon. I was getting the deeper connection with nature that I had been asking for.  

And before I left the Amazon I was blessed with one more dream come true. To see a big cat in nature. The ocelot is one of the rarest sightings of a big cat in the wild. Yet for a couple of minutes, at less than fifteen feet away, I looked one right in the eyes. I was never scared- I just knew that I was being blessed by mother nature and how truly magical it was.

Standing With Standing Rock

I cannot deny it when my heart calls me to do something. And the call to go to Standing Rock was stronger than most intuition I have felt before. I heard it from the moment I first knew of the work being done there before they were even calling themselves Water Protectors.
Clean water is one of my greatest passions, I felt it was important to be there as well as to support Native Americans whose land was being forsaken in the effort to build the pipeline.
But I had to wait to know it for sure and that came in the form of my partner telling me outright, "I think you should go to Standing Rock". Unlike my usual way, I didn't feel it would be respectful for me to just go. I knew it could be dangerous and I had no real connections out there. So I wanted to be sure I was supported in the decision.
Amazingly but not unbelievably, everyone supported me. My spiritual family, my blood family, my friends. They all prayed for me and sent supplies to donate to the Water Protectors. I knew I was going representing all of them, who wanted to be there but for some reason or another could not.
It was an honor and I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve on their behalf.
A ceremony was done for me to give me more protection, like a warrior, would need, as it felt like I was going into battle. It was right after the first major attack on the water protectors last summer and so everyone knew the situation was intense and getting more dangerous. I was told I may even have to crawl into camp to avoid authorities. And that I would be put on the eco-terrorist watch list and perhaps locked up and put in a dog kennel. Needless to say, it was very scary to consider going into this situation. But I could not deny what my guides were telling me so clearly to do.
So once I'd gathered a van load of supplies I set out on an epic journey. I planned to stay a few weeks so I had everything I would need to survive on my own and not expect to be taken care of.
I drove 3 days to North Dakota alone and on the last day met up with friends of friends so I could caravan in with them, which we assumed would be the hardest most dangerous part.
Right before we got there my fear started to peak and I began to sing a ceremony song as loud as I could. A huge buck ran right in front of my car then, I narrowly missed it! A sign from spirit to stay strong and not let fear take me.
Getting in was a lot easier than expected though. We were told at the gate, "No drugs, No Alcohol, and No Weapons". It made me know that this was a very conscientious responsible protest. Once inside I felt like I was in another country. A helicopter circled continuously, and floodlights from DAPL shined on us all night long, making it feel like a war zone.

We were told a storm was coming and it could snow, so my caravan friends left the next morning not wanting to get caught in it. But I thought I could handle the snow.....until I heard it was a blizzard heading our way. I never considered a blizzard. I guess if I had I might not have gone because I do not do well with cold weather and did not feel my car with over 330,000 miles could handle sub-zero temperatures. I could not get stranded there and from the sound of it, that was entirely possible.
I spent the next two days dropping off supplies and exploring the camp. Medical supplies, fire cider, adult coloring books and space blankets to the medic yurt. Winter coats, down blankets, boots and sleeping bags to the clothing donation tent. And educational materials and art supplies to the kids' school yurt.
I had only met two people, a sister of a friend and her friend who happened to be from Athens, Georgia. He was the person I saw the morning I awoke with the strong feeling that I must go. It was really windy all night and all I could think about was how I would not survive in my car with all those windows in below-freezing temperatures. And even though my friend assured me that they would make sure I was safe and warm in a medical teepee or yurt, I did not feel I could ask them to take that responsibility when there would be others more in need than me. It was heartbreaking to know I would be leaving much sooner than planned but the voices were clear that I had to leave that day, as soon as possible.
So in parting, I gave him the rest of the supplies to get out to the camp, my personal food and water stock and a very nice knife that was donated. When i asked him if he needed it, he got tears in his eyes and said that that was the amazing thing about Standing Rock, that prayers get answered and you are given just what you need- he had left his knife at home which he normally always had with him and was asking spirit to send one. He later told me it was the most useful thing he had received there.

As I began to drive out of camp I realized I had one more special gift to leave- a bundle of the longest macaw feathers I'd been collecting for years. As I was driving by the main sacred fire I saw a native woman with long braids ending a ceremony in the traditional way, shaking the hands of all in the circle who had been a part of it. I waited for her to be done and then went and stood by her, holding the feathers and I said, "I would like to offer you these". She turned to look at me, and her eyes welled up with tears and she said, "Thank you so much, I will put them on my sundance altar." I presented them to her in the traditional way and then she hugged me for a long time and cried. I knew if I'd done anything to really touch someone by coming there, that this was it. And I thanked Great Spirit for the opportunity to serve.
Two nights after I left the worst incident yet occurred- water cannons were aimed at the water protectors in freezing temperatures, inflicting hypothermia on hundreds. A woman had her arm blown apart and another lost an eye from the human rights abuses by police and hired security of Energy Partners- the Dakota Access Pipeline company.
I understand now that Spirit knew what was coming and didn't want me there for that, no matter how much of a warrior I'd intended to be.
But my adventure was not over. While it did not snow in Standing Rock for another week, it did hit the southern part of the state, right where I was driving, starting just a couple hours after I left. After many hours of driving, I had to stop to sleep but when I woke up at 7 am there was already 4 inches of snow on my car. I almost panicked thinking I was about to be stranded. So I packed up quick and headed out, I knew I only had to drive an hour or so to get past the snow. But that turned out to be an almost fatal decision.
I'd never driven in snow or ice like that but once on the highway, I felt safer than getting off again since the road was being mostly cleared by the semi-truck in front of me and I already knew that the side streets were frozen.
But after about a half an hour the semi was gone and I was left trying to navigate through a blizzard that only seemed to be getting worse. I was more afraid then than I had been entering Standing Rock! I felt it took all my energy to stay focused and I was not even in my body as I floated along trying to hear Spirit's guidance and do what was safest. But then... I hit a patch of black ice and my minivan did one or two complete 360s into the median and shut down. As it was happening I thought the car was going to flip and that I was going to die! Miraculously I survived... and my car even started again. I got off the highway and to a truck stop where I sat crying so hard I almost hyperventilated. I was alive but scared to death!
After a few hours the sun finally came out and I saw snow plows go past down the highway, so I carefully crept back on the interstate and traveled at a snail's pace to get the 30 miles down the road where the snow was not so severe. I was home free after a couple of hours and singing and crying so loud- grateful to be alive!
I had thought Standing Rock would be the most harrowing part, but as usual, Spirit had the unexpected in-store and lessons I did not expect was given to me. I am still learning from the entire experience even today.
I had left Standing Rock but it stayed with me. I would continue to think about it and the Water Protectors every hour of the day and night for weeks and would post on Facebook 10-15 times a day about what was happening there.
I had done what I could there and continued to pray daily for the Water Protectors. From and activism standpoint, Standing Rock has been the most amazing sight I've ever experienced. Where thousands of people sacrificed greatly to be there, to stand up for all of humanity and protect the water for generations to come, despite what harm or tragedies might become of them.

And like all of them, a piece of my heart was left in Standing Rock and still remains there today.

What The 2012 US Election Taught Me

This should have been posted months ago but here it is anyway.

If this election taught me anything, it taught me to speak up and not be afraid to voice my opinion. To be true to what I BELIEVE in and not to waiver, even in the face of adversaries that maybe your own family. It also reminds me that having HOPE is powerful. Believing that everything works out as it should, according to spirits’ plan….this is POWERFUL.

If Romney had won I would have had to let it go and then HOPE some more that spirit would eventually give us what we had been looking for… a peoples leader….just as I’ve hoped for for my entire life.

I have always had hope that things will continue to get better. I am not the type to let conspiracy and fear-based ideas run my life. I believe in the power of looking at the bright side.  This kind of thinking has done me well and I would recommend it to anyone else because you DO NOT KNOW what is going to happen in the FUTURE. Why waste energy worrying about it when you could just BELIEVE in the POSSIBILITY that in the future everything will be better? It is not a pollyanna point of view.  It’s a survivalist way of thinking.

I feel like I have been under a political regime for nearly all of my life. Too many presidents have gone by since my childhood that was intolerant, money-hungry, war mongers…..literally. I used to get so frustrated at those presidents because it didn't seem like they understood us or even cared that all we want is to have our basic human rights.   We want the right to affordable healthcare….not to abuse the system and take it for free….but to be able to AFFORD IT!  We want the right to choose what you do with your own body and who we can marry and we want the right to speak our minds. All of which it seemed they wanted to deny us.  Why would anyone think that was okay to take away from us?

A time where big oil owns the USA, religion is practically legal in schools, the news is all fear-based and a group of older rich white men run the world… is finally becoming a thing of the past. 

Before, Democrats, including myself, seemed scared to speak out, for fear of harassment for our views or punishment from the government for protesting.

This is America! We are home of the FREE TO BE YOU AND ME!

I have prayed my whole life for a peoples’ leader. Someone that was more like me. And now that we have ONE, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of this country. And he is just one of many peoples leaders to come. 

And WE, the ones who stayed silent for too long, still always kept the hope alive that one day this would be a whole new world. So, just IMAGINE where we COULD BE in ten years and know that the POWER of that POSSIBILITY is what got us here today.

I believe that humanity has been experiencing a shift in consciousness and that now that we have learned many of the lessons needed to be ready for it, we are finally beginning to see truly progressive thinking become progressive action.  I could already feel this shift happening in my own everyday life but now I see it happening to our country and it is truly enlightening.

But in the meantime, while the change continues to occur, we should have patience… and above all we must NEVER FORGET, what it took to get here. It took the courage to speak up and speak out…..for decades.

And if there was only one thing you could judge Obama on (the thing that makes me love and believe in him) it is that it is clear in his actions that he CARES about us. He wants to see the BEST for all of us, the people not the corporations.  He is genuine and transparent, unafraid to speak out against lies and those that would try to shut him down. Of course, he is no saint, just like none of us are, but the man deserves some credit. These are noble characteristics that are rarely seen in a political leader.

And now is the era we have all been HOPING for, when the meak shall inherit the earth. And I know, that it is only a matter of time before we are completely through this shift and all of our hearts are fully open and awake.

 Intolerance will no longer be tolerated. 

Starting Again

Was trying to think of how to start again… and then I opened this little notebook I’d started months back. I must have known that the pretty little notebook covered with butterflies, roses, gemstones, and glitter would give me direction. I’d started writing stories of this life in it last summer. 

I saw this quote, no idea where it came from.

“Creative force is released by an internal process of letting go.  The process of healing is the process of releasing our creative force for the mastery of health and well-being.  Much of illness is a result of blocking the natural flow of an individual's creative energies.”

And this, my friends, is my most primal desire for wanting to write again.

Though, I am not writing for the superfluous reason for being heard…not like when I was younger.  I have grown so much from even 2 or 3 years ago.  I just want to write from my truest clearest form of expression, from the space of being centered and in service to spirit and what it expresses through me.  We all are spirit and I believe that if each of us could have the courage for self-expression, it would give us all the opportunity for great growth and healing.

So that is the goal here from now on, more to write for me, and my expression of spirit, than for anyone else. Not only for my own growth but as a way to honor that which resides in each of us making every person holy, as their own aspect of spirit.

Attack of the Fibroid!

I really do have a great excuse for not blogging in so long.....and yeah I know that I didn't blog for almost two years before that but anyway- here is the story I wrote about it soon after my surgery.

For anyone who wondered if I was PREGNANT.. for A LONG WHILE..i was NOT. On Tuesday I gave cesarian "birth" to a 2 1/2 pound uterine FIBROID. This picture gives you an idea for what a fibroid looks like and the size of the thing that came out of me. It sits beside a 6 INCH RULER. It may have been there 10 YEARS or longer. I am told that 60 % OF WOMEN have them, many not knowing it. If you are having symptoms such as the following, which you thought were just the body aging, you may want to get checked out. Most never know until they feel pain or start to "show".  Over the past several years I have had painful flatulence and constipation with an impacted colon thrown in here and there. As it grew and it began to show I would have back pain, occasional nausea and feel like I was always on the verge of my period or had bad indigestion. In the past year, I would have severe to mild headaches almost daily. I was also susceptible to contracting other illnesses, i.e: I had an intestinal parasite, staph infection-about the time I think I got infected with the campylobacter pathogen, and last year Lyme disease (which my acupuncturist cured in 10 days). He is the one who discovered the fibroid too, as my YEARLY gyno exams DID NOT..... but not until my belly got very hard and the fibroid began to show.

 It has been a real PAIN to deal with for years now yet I did not know the ROOT cause was the FIBROID until last February.

At the time of my surgery I looked 5 1/2 months preggers. Although there are no real theories about why we get them, some doctors say that they are inherited. That had to be at least part of it for me since my MOM HAD ONE the same size, in the same exact place (upper uterus) at the same age as me.

The surgery went well and I am finally healing. It has been a very intense week, to say the least. Besides the pain, there are still a few organs relearning how to work well including the bladder.  I also have to be careful to keep my body moving so as not to get any blood clots in the legs, walking also helps with the painful flatulence. And I have to be careful getting in and out of bed so as not to strain anything or tear internal stitches. It's a tricky place to be. I sleep when I can, between my pain medications. I am taking a number of vitamins and supplements for a speedy recovery including aloe vera, CoQ10, Vitamin C, and I am on the way to full health.

 But it seems like a long road ahead. I can drive in  4 weeks and no extraneous activity or lifting for 6 weeks. I am just taking it day by day.  I thank God/Goddess that I am not any worse off. Recovery is imminent. I just wanted to share my story in hopes it may possibly help someone else who may or may not know what they are suffering from. Thanks to all of you have prayed and continue to pray for my speedy recovery. I am happy to continue the dialogue if anyone has any other advice or questions. Thanks again for all the love. Peace to you all, Athena

Life In the Past Two Years

Wow, it has been almost two years exactly since my last blog entry. Soooooo much has happened but I'll sum it up here and write in-depth later. Since November of 2009, my life partner has become my business partner and we travel doing festivals almost full time now, my love and I have purchased land and begun to build our dream house (an Earthship) and most recently I have had a hysterectomy for a grapefruit-sized fibroid in my uterus. It's been an intense couple of years but it has been amazing too. I'm excited to share it...now I just need to find the words.